pain is the best way to describe me now.
i regret the decision.
its now like menyesal tak sudah.
i didnt want her to cry so much and feel sad.
i had no choice.
i thought taking my leave was the best way,
but now i regretted it.
exams was quite tough.
i wasnt fully prepared for it.
im hoping for the best.
i'll try to buck myself up.
all there's left in me is myself.
im empty.
i wish i could rewind time back.
gosh.
im lost.........

the light of hope is gone.
she says, she doesnt want to give me hope.
then, a question i wanted to ask..
was that hope yesterday ?

i hope it was..
i really hope it is..
i love her.
but i dont know whether she feels the same abt it.
i may not be of what u expected.
but, i'll improve as time passes by..
...............................

now, its back to square.
im back to the way i was before.
msg huda in the morning.
she didnt replied me until ard 10 plus at night.
i was damn worried abt her.
she was with yazid.
they got back together. :(
i cared and loved her but its all gone.
i got nothing to say about that.

went to the hosp for my check up.a
the doc had a nose scope done.
it was awfully painful.
the doc referred me to the neurologist.
the something wrong with my brain.
im going for a citiscan next wednesday.

i know my body well
and i can feel that my health is deteriorating.
im not sure how much longer im able to sustain.
feel like this is the worst of my life.

now, im over at mac ecp all alone.
alone.
this has been what i am all along.
life is full of sweetness and sourness.
and often, people only remember the sourness...
.....................

right now, loads of things are running through
my mind and time passes by fast.
i don't know what kind of situation i'm in.
i don't know how to describe it.
all i hope now is for the best.
my exams are nearing and i haven't started revising.
i guess its high time i started doing so.
let's forget about what has passed.
yesterday was history.
tomorrow is a mystery.
today is a gift.

well, weekend was boring.
had no time to celebrate NDP 2008.
had wedding and then had kenduri.
monday arrived.
it has been a week since she left us.
i still love her with all my heart.
and, great news !
dad bought me the wide angle lens
and also an external flash !!
weeee !!
ok stop.
to whom it may concern : (i do love you okay.)
=D
adios !!

i know life isn't fair
but i'll just have to accept it the way it is.
my granny passed away on monday.
innalillah.
i shed so much tears.
she was peacefully and safely buried on tuesday.
dear ALLAH, please forgive her of all wrong doings.
even though she's away, i still loved her with all my heart.
today, i got something unexpected.
it borke my heart real bad.
double the pain i've had after nenek passed away.
i'm out of words.
a blank mind.
feels like dying.

once again, i'm back to hit the blog.
saturday passed off normally.
i hit the town with friends, had fun with them.
was such a long since i went to town with them.
had all sorts of funny ideas and crappy jokes.
met acit, and we had lunch over at LJS Cineleisure.
we walked around just for fun. met up with some street performers.
then we went our seperate ways.
i rushed over to padang to have a glimpse of the fireworks.
and not to forget, ALL ALONE !
was kinda both exciting and boring though !
got a few pics of the fireworks with the trusted one(Alpha DSLR) !
will upload those pics in the next post.
lol. just plain lazy now.
then sunday, argh ! work, work, work !
had to run a wedding event over at ang mo kio.
it was near my school.
had loads of fun also laa.
makan there was good.
the most kecohrable thing was, the groom wore CIRCA sneakers with his suit.
damn !
it was sponsored by MIZ-29 i guess.
cos' i saw loads of MIZ-29 crews over at the wedding.
then, the event smooth and as usual.
event ended. bla bla bla bla...
then got an emergency from my uncle.
my grans is over at hospital in critical condition.
i'm truly sad.
YA ALLAH, please save her.
if YOU want her, take her and please do not torture her.
ALLAH, please forgive her of all sins and bring her to heaven with YOU.
hope my prayers for her will come true.
with that, i end my entry for this time.

yea, drives me crazy.
cause' today i drove to school.
i woke up early in the morning just to drive to school.
reached school at around 7am.
thought that a short nap would be nice in the car cause class starts at 8am.
when i woke up, it was 9.30.
hahaha. pure shit and i was late for class.
school went on as per normal.
had soccer after the friday prayers.
and after that, jeng jeng jeng.
i picked huda up at the atrium.
then we headed for J8.
walked around with her and she accompanied me to G2000 as i went to get my shirt.
i was hungry so we headed for LJS.
Huda, memandai and told me where LJS was.
hahahaha. but nvm, u had a good intention.
hahaha.
after i had my LJS, went back to the car and i drove her home.
thanks once again huda for accompanying me.
i had a good time with you,
and don't stumble again in the bus okayys ?
hahaha.
i rushed home,
cause' i didn't want to miss BEACH,BALL,BABES LAST EPISODE !
what a boring ending it had.
well, that somesorts sums up my day today.